The Quest - A Search for the True Self and Purpose

What do we really know? That’s a question my friend and I often discuss. Over countless conversations, we’ve tried to peel back the layers of life, purpose, knowledge, and identity.

One day, he wrote a piece - strange, satirical, yet unsettlingly familiar - a story that mirrored everything we tend to ignore..

I want to begin this quest with his words, because they opened a door in my mind.

And once that door opened, I couldn’t help but walk through it…

Raj Senjaliya & Yagnik Makani

The Lion Who Burnt the Forest

It was about ten thousand years ago, and some lions lived on Earth. They ate when they were hungry, slept when they were sleepy, and roamed wherever they pleased. Their only fear was that their freedom might be taken away. One day, a fire broke out in the forest. A lion saw it... and just kept watching. Only a few animals, besides the lions, managed to escape the fire. When the lion saw the carcasses of other lions, he became a little nervous. Then he saw many more burnt lion bodies, and the lion returned to normal. All of the lion's food had burned away, and now he had no choice but to eat the dead animals. The lion somehow managed to eat a burnt goat; although it didn't taste good, he got used to eating this kind of food for a few months. By the time the forest returned to normal, the lion had become accustomed to eating burnt food. But now the question was, how could they start another fire?

It took about a year for the next fire to break out. This time, instead of just watching the fire, the lion chose to think: how could this thing just appear like that? After some time, he somehow figured out how fires started! Now the lion stopped thinking again, and once this fire subsided, he started burning the forest again. Some time passed, and once again, many animals in the forest burned to death in this fire. After a while, there were no animals left for the lion to eat.

Then the lion started eating grass. This time, he also started burning the grass before eating it, though it wasn't particularly tasty either. But again, the lion had no other choice. During this time, he also somehow managed to learn how grass grows. Now the lion started farming; farming made the lion sedentary. For a few months, the lion was sick, couldn't farm, and had to go hungry. It was during this period that the lion learned to trade.

Thousands of years have passed.

Now, "Lion Society" is well-established, at least in their eyes! Now, "Lion Society" eats grass with toppings. Just a few days ago, some scientist lions sent a rocket to the moon, solely to fulfill their ignorance! Now you might think everything is going well, but alas! Now, each "Lion Society" has two or three other societies within it. All the lion societies believe that their society is the most intelligent. But then, one day, a human from "Human Society" will come and make them dance in a circus! Well, what does "Human Society" know that "Dog Society" calls them donkeys anyway!

This story might seem very incomplete and nonsensical to you, but it's only "until now"!

I wonder why we often feel like we're living by our own will? To tell the truth, we can't live by our own will, even if we want to. We live amidst nature, and nature can take us wherever it pleases. Let's try to understand this with a few questions:

What was it that led the lion society to build rockets? Acceptance of ignorance? If it was really just the acceptance of ignorance, then did fire play no role in it? If fire did play a role, then who started this fire? The friction of two trees? If the fire was only caused by the friction of two trees, who determined that fire would emerge from the friction of two trees? Nature? All our questions stop at nature. Frankly, all animal societies must accept that we truly know nothing. Until now, we've only had one way to know the truth: science. Because everything has already been written in religious books!

But another answer could be that we have come this far through nature and the acceptance of ignorance, even if we don't know much about it. Within our acceptance of ignorance lies science, which perhaps can transform this ignorance into knowledge. Or perhaps, that too is just another trick of nature!

Grey Hope

A few days ago, I saw a lizard in my house. It wasn't very big, yet I couldn't sit still. After a while, I got a broom from my room and killed that lizard right there. Although it wasn't one hundred percent ethical, it was necessary for my peace of mind. I do regret to some extent that I killed it!

For many years, this has been the way things are: the strong kill the weak, and it becomes moral. Now, let's continue the story.

When the lion first started killing and eating other animals, he was innocent. Everything was normal. But when lion society mentally evolved, everything began to change. Just recently, a lioness was killed by a lion! Now, this has become a complete crime! Because it's written in the book of "Lion Society" that it's a sin for a lion to kill other lions of "Lion Society."

Most of the lions suspected only one lion, named Ravana. The other lions had no evidence against him, but they had complete suspicion about his intentions. Somehow, this case was investigated, and in the end, Ravana was found guilty.

Now, what is it that makes Ravana guilty? Killing someone? If this guilty lion commits suicide in jail, will he incur another crime? Probably not! Because if the lion is no longer there, then who will be punished? If this lion dies from a disease, can we punish nature? Then what is death?

A tradition that has been ongoing for centuries! One that no one has been able to avoid or understand. What is the most common thing among all living beings? Birth, death! Do we have even one percent knowledge about this? If not, then why were we so determined to consider that lion guilty? While it's possible that the lioness now knows all the truths of this world.

Often, when we see the same thing repeatedly, questions arise in our minds, because only children ask questions when seeing something for the first time, not adults. We make many efforts to find answers to these questions, and when these efforts start to feel overwhelming, we become accustomed to accepting these questions without asking them, and we become 'ordinary'.

I don't know if nature bestows this gift of 'ordinariness' upon living beings, or if living beings attain it themselves! But from what I know so far, it seems that a significant turning point in humanity's journey has been its ability to become 'ordinary' about anything, whether it understands it or not. When I think about death, I genuinely feel happy thinking that both I and "the Rich one" are going to die, and both of us will be cremated, and we probably won't get to see any subsequent ceremonies. And if, by some chance, we both meet in heaven, then both our faith in God will be shaken. Anyway, forget it! Just hope that lioness isn't there! Otherwise, she'll chew me raw; I'll deal with the lizard even there.

In this journey so far, to know the absolute truth, only three paths seem visible to us: first, science; second, death (I hope God doesn't play another joke with this one); third, ordinariness (perhaps even God will start to seem ordinary to us someday!).

What do we know?

Reading this strange but strangely familiar tale made me pause. It didn’t give me answers, but it stirred my questions. That’s where this quest began

The Start - Questions

My questions were the reason for this quest. And they’re still there. I always wonder: why does this universe exist? Why does life evolve? And what is the purpose of the life we’re living? I’m sure many of you reading this have asked the same questions too. Across five mass extinctions, countless life forms have evolved and disappeared. Among complex life forms, a fundamental drive has always been to live longer, to make our lives more comfortable.

When I look up at the night sky, the stars, the moon, and the drifting clouds, it gives me pause. I question myself: why am I working so hard? And the answer I always come back to is this: to make my life better. I want to give a better life to my family. And I know many of you feel the same. But then comes the deeper question: why? Why do we want these things? Are these goals truly ours, or just products of our conditioning, habits passed down without questioning, simply because we were brought up this way?

So, what is the real purpose of this life? Who are we, really? Is there a deeper meaning behind all of this? These thoughts lead me back to the same ride. So, buckle up as we’re stepping into my rollercoaster once again. And just a gentle reminder: vomiting is not allowed on my ride.

Life is beautiful, isn’t it? When we look around, we find beauty in the cosmos, in the way the universe operates, the dance of fundamental forces, and the strange behavior of subatomic particles. And yet, the more we try to solve this grand mystery, the more complicated it becomes. Great minds have spent their entire lives in pursuit of answers, making countless sacrifices. But even after all that effort, the mystery of existence remains unsolved.

We’ve imagined Gods, studied the Big Bang, and speculated about the Multiverse, but still, it all escapes the grasp of rational thought.

At a personal level, when I look at myself, it feels like I’m trapped within boundaries set by family, society, religion, conditioning, and even my own thinking. And when I try to look deeper, I realize that most of what I do is never fully in my control. My choices are always influenced by one thing or another.

I feel caged, caught between justifying myself, between what’s “right” and what’s “wrong.” But my right may not be your right, and your truth might be my illusion.

Sure, maybe one day I’ll be financially successful. Maybe I’ll give a better life to my family. Maybe I’ll live peacefully. But is that really what we’re living for? Just to die someday and leave behind a pile of wealth? Even if my good deeds allow me to be remembered for a while, will it really make a difference?

I don’t know the answer to all of this, but I can suggest something, something which I try to follow myself. We have to begin by questioning the “self.” When we say “I,” what are we really referring to? Isn’t it just a collection of experiences, memories, and information, some gathered through life, others passed down through genes? Then naturally, the question arises: What is our true self? How does consciousness come into existence? Is it separate from perception or memory?

This is the mystery that has perplexed humans for ages. We’ve tried to explain it through religion, God, philosophy, and more recently, science. But the more we try to get closer to the truth, the farther away it seems, becoming even more complex and distant. I’m not claiming to know the true nature of the self, and this quest is also not about proving who is right or wrong. I just want to shed some light on the search for purpose, meaning, and peace. So, was killing a lizard was wrong by my friend Yagnik? Yes, morally it was wrong. I believe every species have Right to Life. There's could have been more wiser solution. But that's what it makes this life hard, discomfort.

Getting to know Self

To my knowledge, life is tricky. It’s full of turmoil, similar to the way Buddha described it. Everyone seems to have their own motives, chasing them even if it means harming others in the process. There can be many ways to deal with this chaos. I don’t know if mine is the right one, and I’m open to being wrong.

One possible way, perhaps the first and more practical, is to stop chasing a perfectly calm life. Many of us hate this life, as there’s always something wrong going on. We live a life where there’s love but also hate. There are needs, but on the other side, there’s greed. And I feel that’s where most of us lose this battle, in this trap. But, in reality, life is about these things, it’s about accepting this. I know it’s hard to remove hate from others, but at least we can stop hating others, even at the smallest scale possible. I know not everyone can remove greed out of themselves fully, but at least we can raise the standard of the greed, for the greater good. Not just for ourselves, but also for society, for those who need it the most.

Peace doesn’t mean the absence of storms. Peace is learning to live with them. We can’t make every day perfect, but peace lies in the realization that it doesn’t have to be. We live in a world where there are expectations from us everywhere, at home, at work, and as normal human beings, it’s not possible to meet those expectations every time. Once we understand this, we’re prepared, and that’s all it takes. I wrote a thought a little while ago: “Life doesn’t give you what you would like to face; you’ll have to face what comes for you.” This realization will help me face anything, to be brave, not for others but for myself, so that outer chaos can’t disturb my inner peace.

The second approach is a bit deeper: the realization of the self. Similar to the first, yet different. It’s about destroying the roots of the problem itself, and it may sound philosophical, and yes, it kind of is. This thought has taken shape in me through what I’ve read in Buddhism, Jainism, and Kant’s writings.

Desire, pleasure, anger, and attachment are the core reasons for suffering and give rise to ego. The ego is the one and only root and base of suffering. If we can understand and manage these four aspects of ourselves, we might gain some control over the ego. And if we can control the ego, perhaps we can come closer to the end of this quest. Because the concept of suffering arises when there is a “me,” and without “me,” there’s no suffering. I know it’s harder to understand, like how can you leave the self itself?

If I had to put this in simple words, the self is nothing apart from the ego, which hides you from the truth. And the truth is that you never truly suffer, it’s just your hypothetical ‘self’ that suffers. You are divine, there’s nothing that can cause suffering. I know this concept is deep, and I know it’s tough to fully understand. Hence, we’ll try to dive deeper into it in the future, discussing ego and liberation.

In the end, for me, honestly, I prefer the first approach. It feels easier, at least to start. But does the quest end here? I would say no. It’s not the end, not in terms of the search for eternal truth, but perhaps it’s the beginning of an end. An end to the confusion. An end to blind acceptance. And maybe the start of something else, a personal discovery of the self, truth, and the eternal.

As we continue this journey, we’ll explore different philosophies and my own small interpretations of them.

And until then, let’s try to keep one thing in mind, something Socrates once famously said:

“You know nothing.”

End

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The stories, metaphors, and characters mentioned in this piece are fictional and symbolic. They are intended to provoke thought and self-reflection, not to target or offend any individual, group, or belief system.